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We don't fit together but you're gonna regret you left me

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PLAYLIST

So, hi fella! i am so sorry that i am being away (i mean, not to write anything in this weird blogger) and some of the post i wrote at my phone bcs i have the app.
now i just want to tell you about this senior year that really sucks me enough.

being a senior year is not really fun. you should read this. because being in the senior year that means you are just getting closer to the future. and being a collegian (what is that anyway). and since the day one i start my daily routine being a senior, i just want to end this sooner or later because i really hate high school.

it sucks. even if i got a lot of memories in it.
it sucks.

anyway, because the title rn is PLAYLIST, that means i want to share with you when i am studying, i'd love to listen a song or sometimes, i eat, i listen music and i study at the same time. how great am i? hahahahha

so i have 40 songs. that could be fun anyway. here's the list;

1. Against The Current - Gravity
2. Before You Exit - Dangerous
3. Against The Current - Closer Faster
4. 30STM - City of Angels
5. 5SOS - Long Way Home
6. Shawn Mendes - Life Of The Party
7. Ariana Grande - Break Free
8. Against The Current - Comeback Kid
9. The Vamps - Somebody To You
10. Cody Simpson - Not Just You
11. A Rocket To The Moon - Where Did You Go
12. Union J - Beautiful Life
13. Bleachers - I Wanna Get Better
14. Katy Perry - Teenage Dream
15. Gavin DeGraw - Not Over You
16. Before You Exit - End Of The Road
17. Taylor Swift - All Too Well
18. A Rocket To The Moon - Nothing At All
19. Ariana Grande - Better Left Unsaid
20. Union J - Loving You Is Easy
21. John Martin - Anywhere For You
22. Kelly Clarkson - Catch My Breath
23. Hardwell - Dare You
24. Cody Simpson - Wish You Were Here
25. Paramore - Ain't It Fun
26. Ed Sheeran - lego House
27. Clean Bandit - Rather Be
28. Avicii - I Could Be The One
29. Hunter Hayes - Wanted
30. Martin Garrix - Animals
31. Ed Sheeran - Give Me Love
32. Justin Timberlake - Not A Bad Thing
33. Ariana Grande - One Last Time
34. Maroon 5 - Payphone
35. Goo Goo Dolls - Iris
36. Justin Bieber - Beauty And A Beat
37. Ariana Grande - Love Me Harder
38. Ed Sheeran - The A Team
39. Archertown - Gone
40. Nickelback - Photograph



-Mutia Novianti-

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......or maybe He want us to be separate like this then we're going to meet ;

In the same year
In the same time
In the same place
In the same coffee.

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ISTIQILAL 11 JAN 2015

HAI

so here, January 12.

udah ah. mau cerita bentar sebelum belajar lagi. EEEEE JIJAY ABIS

so, liburan kemarin? it was good enough lah  ya. at least, bisa main sama temen dihari kerja dan bisa main sama keluarga juga. wehhehehe so for this time gue gak ceritain bagaimana liburan gue, tapi gue mau ceritain hal yang (ehm gila) terjadi setelah liburan.

so, sebenernya ini terjadinya pas lagi liburan juga sih. malah, dimulai dari liburan.

awalnya, Azzam main kerumah gue bersama yang lain. so, kita nonton film doraemon (maaf, gue cinta download-an dibandingkan gebetan gue) dan tiba-tiba azzam ngajak private conversation gitu(?) yaaa hehe he talked about the band. ngajakin lomba. dan dia bilang kalo gue harus ngehubungin devin segera.

so, gue nge-Line devin. yang pertama kali.
awalnya sih nanya-nanya aja kan ya. iseng2 karena pada awalnya gue ngekontak si devin cuma gara-gara si azzam. well, awalnya emang gak niat lomba terus juga ada personil yang lain juga toh.

then, gue nge-Whatsapp devin. yang kedua kali.
nanya-nanya lagi. dan katanya sih, mau di finalisasi gitu data naama siswa yang fix ikut lomba.

tiba-tiba, selang beberapa hari semenjak gue ngekontak si devin, dia malah nge-Line gue kaya gini, "Mut jadinya lu aja ya yang ikut lomba. kata ka bintang."

gelo. im so excited in that time.

lalu, we've got one weeks for the competition. it means, minggu lalu, January 5 kita baru banget lathian (yang ada guenya) jadi, hari Minggu januari 4, mereka latihan (without me already) dan.........

senin hingga sabtu, we've a lot of time to take practice for that competition.

awalnya, kamis mau istirahat. then idkw tiba-tiba kita malah latihan. dan sampe hari sabtu. and it was................ b a l a.

waktu hari sabtu itu, kan gue cika sama azzam itu lagi pm kan (because we're in senior year, though) dan latihannya sekitar sore jam 4-5 an karena siang gue ke mampang dan yang lain pada istirahat (baca:tidur) dan seketika.......

setengah 4, azzam baru bangun. cika bakal dateng telat.

tiba-tiba,

ban motornya azzam bocor.
cika dateng paling pertama.
gue stay dirumah pacul.
motornya si devin sama badar lagi dipake.

gelo banget gak tuh?

akhirnya, latihan nya abis maghrib. suer duper wiper ngaret.
dan tiba-tiba seketika latihan, ampli bass nya mati. dan akhirnya, latihan cuma setengah jam saja. dan pulang kerumah jam 8. anyway, kita latihan di C'Blast pas hari sabtu. dari hari senin hingga jumat, latihan di studio sekolah.

--- The Judges Day---

dateng. masuk elf. denger lagu. sampe. bengong.

lomba dari jam berapa gitu lupa pokoknya abis sholat dzhuhur deh. dan anyway, gue dkk dapet urutan 7.

1. MAN 14
2. MAN 14
3. MTS (LUPA)
4. MAN 4
5. MTS 29
6. MAN 9
7. MAN 2
BREAK SHALAT ASHAR
8. LUPA
9. LUPA
10. LUPA
11. LUPA

ah sudahlah. gue gamau ceritain apa yang terjadi saat panggung because i have no idea kalo misalkan cerita dari sudut pandang gue aja. ga seru. so, check it out of the photos!!!!!!!!!!!

Sebelum tampil

Adam Nur Ilmi

Azzam Fasha

Badar Rijal Hidayat

Cika Asyarani

Eva Soraya

The Nerd

Trian Devin Naufal

Adam dengan Trophy

Azzam dengan Trophy

Badar dengan Trophy

Cika dengan Trophy

Eva dengan Trophy

Nerd dengan Trophy

Devin dengan Trophy

Anyway, pengumumannya itu sebelum maghrib dan inilah pemenangnya

Harapan 3 : lupa

Harapan 2 : lupa

Harapan 1 : lupa

Juara 3 : lupa

Juara 2 : lupa

Juara 1 : MAN 2

EA

"ini bakal jadi kenangan manis buat Azzam, Mutia dan Cika"

-Kak Bintang

*lomba terakhir di kelas 12 and it was sweet as honey*

Bersama Pak Halwanurrofiq (depan devin) dan Kak Bintang (depan eva)

Alhamdulillah, Allah gave us a little happiness while we've push our efforts for the best performance. Bersyukur🌹🎉

-GadoGadoBand-

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December, 31 2014

December, 31 2014

i just sat on my bed all day and watching some movies while my thoughts are in the clouds. searching something. i was being like, "what have i done?"

everyone said, this day is gonna be the day that everyone had their time for themselves and thinking what  have they done with their life.

so do i.

i through everything.
i feel everything. and most of all,

i've left everything.

i mean, i don't want to talk about it.

keinget, tahun lalu i mean i love December 2013. because of what?

jaman Pare. gila, i have no idea banget kenapa gue kangen Pare. (how can you not love being in pare and missing the part of the pare, Pareholics?)

bukan itu aja sih. i just want to tell you about how my 2014 goes.

it gone. all gone.
it passed. all passed.

and i am done.

6 bulan pertama, masih jadi kelas 11 dan Alhamdulillah, i got the good scores but i have to be more better, right? well that's the good once. but don't worry, 2014 is the good year for me because it gave me some of learning. you-really-know-what.


bukan hanya itu aja. banyak banget kegiatan yang Alhamdulillah lancar dan sukses. so here it goes ;


- NGAMEN 3 HARI -
- GEBYAR -
- MOPDB -
- BAND GUE JUARA 1 MEN!! -
- LATGAB -
- LDKS 2014-2015 -
- SERTIJAB // ART CORNER -
- BTS -
- Tahfidz Quran -

YAPS. 9 postingan diatas itu adalah sebagian tulisan yang gue share disini selama 2014. and i was just like..........

I done everything.

masa-masa, "haha-hihi" itu beneran udah

habis

because 2015 is might be the best year of me if i struggling so hard

because i takes A LOT OF FINALS, THEN.

 Anggep aja itu ............ hem.

Anyway, it taught me a lesson.

you know i really dont like of being happy just with myself. but

you do really know.

there are two types of people in the world,

people with good,

people with wicked.

you choose one of them for yourself

and you could never choose for somebody else

after that, i see a conclusion.

we have to be happy, more happy.

we have to be good, more good.

we have to don't care if people are good or wicked.

the important is,

do what you're gonna be with yourself 

because everybody is busy with themselves.

this is really taught me more than ever him .

 i am so sorry, you.

i think i might be better left you because,

i was off being happy around you.

i am not h a p p y

a r o u n d y o u 

and

i was so fragile at a time, but no more.

i'm not the way i used to be, again.

i am n e w .

so, new year? new love?

haha, i will spread love to anyone. but for just like, kind of that past, haha, i dont think so.

So, HAVE A GREATEST NEW YEAR FOR ALL OF YOU, GUYS!!!!!!

This is me, A girl sat on her bed and watching world with her laptop and enjoying the new year's eve,

me, 

Mutia Novianti.

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Undone

“If you haven’t had, you haven’t lived.”

One day Gheo told me about that statement and it was made me more curious about something particular in life. He didn’t finish in that line, the next was just an explanation which was out by his brain into the words. And one day, I found out, that was real. Even I don’t believe first.

I, Arza Leth. I am about to the new last year high school student in Ketzha High School. My family Leth, moved into the town for couple weeks ago because parents’s job and my big Twin brother which was in college aren’t going with us because they had part-time too in D.C. anyway, I am the third and I was moved into New York. Metropolitan. Baby!

So this is Ketzha High School, my new school and I am about to going on this school in a year. Only a year. I just have to go with the assignment, take exams, take finals, go graduate, and moved again into the DC. Because I kind of hate New York.

I take 5 Subjects, English, Math, Deutsch, Art, and Biology. I only love in Deutsch, that suites me up. I love taking language class. But dad gave me an order to take math and bio. So that’s it.

English First Class, Wednesday Morning.

“Hello My Name is Arza Leth. I moved into town for a couple weeks ago. Thanks”

Everybody just hanging out with novels in their own desk.

I am so sucked at a time.

English class was fine. We learned a lot of things, mostly; life. We learned stuffs, some of words, sometimes we got a homework to make a poem or something to write about like, essay. And a lot of essay and debate in class which was a progress and the trials during an oral exams that judges by our headmaster; Mr. Andrew Johnson.

“class’s over in ten, anyway! So write something down on Essay. The best will be promoting to Mr. Johnson! Deadline on Friday!”

“Thank you, Ms. Steiner!”

I don’t even know why Ketzha have an English Teacher that she is german. God, Forgive me to say something of her.

I walked out into school, searching for a good caffee in New York for searching an inspiration to write an Essay. I love being a writer anyway. You just gotta have sit down and do that shit with your laptop or your computer, maybe you just need a glass of coffee and a good weather (maybe winter or fall?) and you may or may not be a great writer because you’d do that.

And I realized. I am just a last year high school student.

And one day, I am gonna be what I want to be. I promise to my soul.

I take starbucks. I order frappe and get some inspiration. While I am about to start to write, she comes to me.

“you are Arza Leth. Aren’t you?”

“I am. What do you want?”

“are you british? Because you seems too polite, anywhere. Even class.”

“I left the most safety city in the world.”

“DC? Can I join you?”

“you have the right. You can”

“so, Arza. What do you want to write for the deadline essay?”

“I was about going to write some of information about the culture in particular, I don’t love to going the club.”

“so, you are the good man.”

“I am not as good as you think, anonymous.”

“sorry, I am Kezia Sherr. Call me Kez.”

And in that, we talked much about things while we’re doing the Essay. She takes math and bio too! She help me things, to not to be an anti-social people in school and I was so grateful that I am not being bullied!!!!!!!

“Everyone, I am about to inform you about the best Essay that I got to promote to mr. Johnson. And I have…………..”

*I hope it’s not, me*

“Arza Leth, with “A Natural Born-Leader of Being Leader In Art.” That was so democrative in your Essay, Arza!”

“I hope you’ve done right with your work, Ms. Steiner. But thank you anyway”

“so, I want you to presentation in front of me, Mr. Johnson and Mr. Leucr your Art teacher in headmaster room. And everybody do the tasks and you get some more of Essay in the future!”

Headmaster Office.

“now, Leth, I want you to be more speficitively about your Essay. Go on with your thoughts” Mr. Johnson let me to do with the shit I wrote. And for an hour, I done and everybody in the room was so satisfied about my thoughts about art, even Mr. Leucr which was I think he’s never like the new student.

“that’s absolutely brilliant. You can make the fifth star on this school. Thank you, newbie!” Ms. Steiner said that. She’d only said that. With her gorgeous smile. She’s not young yet. She seems like mom.

“thank you, Ms. Steiner.”

“you don’t have to being in a college. You could be a writer. Not an Artist.” Mr. Lecr said that. And probably I do agree with his thoughts. I love to draw but write is more than love. It’s about passion that I’ve got from God. For this time, I am about to being a grateful son of my parents. They have to know about this.

“you may or may not be a writer but I know where you headed to.”

“what, Mr.Johnson?”

“NYU, take the literature.”

“it was not easy. You know that. Just because you’re graduate from there it doesn’t mean your whole students have to headed there, Johnson.”

“I was hoping on you, that’s it. I see your passion in your presentation. You don’t like the others. And if you want NYU, I could help you easier. Because you just have to take the test.”

“and what about the other student?”

“I do this for entire student. And your lovely friend too, kez.”

I don’t know how to speak with dad. He will get a family party and just take an order for Zega and Gheo to come New York and live it with us. Even mom would do that. What if I tell kiz? No. she is just a mist in my thoughts.

“How’s your day, pal?” she shout at me when I’m in park reading the Stephen king’s book. Anyway, I have a guy friend, too. And you know, only kez that could help me out from being an anti-social in Ketzha.

“better.”

“you know what? George ask me on a date! Finally someone’s picking me up”

“whoa, you had a boyfie right? Haha what am I going to do? I know! Congratulate on you, buddy!”

“hehe, it’s been three days ago but it’s official. I am sorry not to tell you. You’re on your own busy right?”

“no, we are in our own busy. I take exam, you take exam. I take finals, you take finals, too. What’s going on? Haha”

“just so you know, Za. You’re the real friend I have in Ketzha. And I always have been thinking that there is no person like you in ketzha. But here you are!! And I am so grateful I take cheerleader since first grade in high school and this guy has pick me up!”

“who’s that guy anyway?”

“Rudy Gadsyz. The leader of ketzha football team.”

“you’re going to be a fab person in ketzha haha so one time, congratulate!!”

“hehe thank you anyway. Sorry I was going to lunch with Rudy. See ya, Za!”

You’re late, Arza. Now she had a boyfriend. Her boyfriend is your non-sense friend in middle school which moved into New York just like you did.

You are so late, Za.

That words being reply like sirens. I think I love her, but late I guess.

You’re so pathetic, Za.

Three months ago.

One day, I am not going school.

“buddy, why you’re still laying on bed?”

“I’m not feeling well, old man.”

“get up, I made some breakfast for you and your mother too!”

In the Kitchen, my mom so busy with her drinks. She made me hot chocolate, that so sweet, though. And dad was being cool when he was reading the newspaper while he’s eat his sandwich. I just felt like, this is really looks like in DC. Mom was busy with the drinks, Dad with his newspaper, my Twin big bro, Zega and Gheo busy with their thoughts and everyday this place would never quite because I watch the news on TV. Seems like I don’t have any person to speak with right? I still have mom and Zega, Gheo still talk with me even they are so busy with their study. And for a couple weeks, I still don’t have the feelings that we get that feeling in New York. Everything is different.

“This kitchen has to be punished because it won’t noisy.”

“we will get through, kid. It just three months ago. In weekend, we will see your brother in Brooklyn.”

“I would love to! But I have an appointment with Kez.”

“who’s kez? Your new girlfriend?”

“I told you guys I have no girl since middle school. Just a girl from English Class.”

“I think you like her.”

“because you say so, dad.” Breakfast is over and I am going to laying and do some stuff at my room. Dad going to work and mom too and they will be late as usual. I miss the old DC. New York is screwed. Just more pollution, more taxi cab, or some freaky-boutique that goes around the city. And a lot of girl shops that boy shops. And again, more coffee. That’s the only thing I love about New York.

“I think, I can not do graduate in here. This city are so screwed. With love, Arza.”

I sent an Email to Zega. I hope he read and answered immediately. I just in home and work for the finals because exams will be held on Monday which is, one week later and I take a brief semester so I don’t have to take a waste time of being a nonsense guy in the high school and I take a college immediately. I have to be in college like Zega and Gheo.

Anyway, Zega and Gheo is a twin that you didn’t always see everyday. They don’t seems like Fred and George Weasley. They more intellectual. And they are more handsome, and with any brain so far. Than me.

“hi lil, sorry not to catch up briefly your email. Me and Gheo are fine in here and anyway we are in different room at the apartement. Dad won’t let me tell you, idkw. You can do graduate in there and I am going to be so proud of you, lil! Just take the finals and do more study and you can do that! Just do like Gheo did 4 years ago, you seen that! I’ll catch you later, got work to do. So have a fun being in college even the work is getting hell. With love, Zega.”

I smile. He is the old guy that really cute I know for this entire century.

Finally, Zega and Gheo came to the Apartement and get some vacation in here.

“how’s DC?”

“more safety! I think I too in love with it.”

“so, how’s with kez?”

“zip it mom we are in our family gathering and we are about to eat”

“how’s kez? I am asking you, younger.”

“she’s with Rudy Gadsyz. A friend from the middle school”

“how pity you are! Is she knows how your feeling?”

“I wont let her know.”

“if you haven’t had any girl, you haven’t lived. Just told you.” Gheo statement. Anyway, his statement was right and it was make me realize that I have to get a girl. But how? What makes a good boyfriend to my future girlfriend?

I just sitting out at the balcony and drawing some stuffs. Now I draw some building around the apartement. “hi, man. What brought you here?” dad accompany me and we talked a lot. “where’s Zega and Gheo? Mom?” “they’re about to around the city. Anyway,  I am about to apologize with you, son.”

“for what?”

“I know you have no girl until now, but I remember the girl that you kissed at DC”

“Melling Syth, you mean?”

“yes. You were about crazy of her. I ask you, why don’t you get a date on her? She loves you at the time so do you.”

“I don’t know, I through things a lot and she seems like didn’t help me through it much.”

“like kez?”

“she help me much but it’s something that tells me that I couldn’t be with her.”

“You still love her. Don’t you?”

The conversation at the evening with dad is so deep and seems like, he helped me out for a thing like that. Which was he had a lot of experience.

A day at Ketzha Graduation Day

Everybody seems happy but me. You will say that I am the crazy person because I was too grateful that I am about to be the first graduate because my score is the highest of all. Her score is good too. Everybody smile, but me. I was about to crazy about that thing. A thing that I thought it would healed me instead of making me more hurt, like hell. And I have to speech in front of anyone.

“all I know is, everyone has capable to reach the dream eventhough they had fears. Well, I had fears. And still have. But no matter what, we will through that time. And I think, we through it.“

One week after the graduation, I am still at the place that I choose for the first time. but for today, I am home all day long.

“dad. You have in faith that our family will be back at DC, Right?”

“why would you ask me like that?”

“because, I think that our family is never done something in there. You,’d never done with your work or with your pals, Geneva, A man that trusted you. Mom, she’d never gve her a space to being a full-time super mom like you always wanted, you stopped her being that. It seems like you torture her in her works, even she loved in here. Zega, Gheo, they’re never done with they have now. They are maybe, gonna be a full-time or forever student in college. It’s year 5, dad. You have to graduate before mine. But what you’ve got?”

“they deserve a long time of being in college. That shit is never easy on your thoughts. College is hell, my young. You’ll never know.”

“I am going to be a college student, so what? And last, I was never done with her. We are never done of nothing. Back at DC, please. It gets us more a closer family than anyone could have. And we could be more earn money in there. I guess. Dad.”

“you’re right. So what are you gonna do, boy?”

“I am going to a writer, but I want to go the college, maybe design?”

“ask your mother first.”

Ya. we’re leaving New York. Zega and Gheo are not in their place because that stuffs has sell. We will back to our old home. Or maybe a new home in a new streets. We’re going to leave tomorrow. We have packing. And all we have to do before leaving, we just having fun, but me. Always sit on the balcony then draw the last thing I saw in New York.

There’s a message.

“hi! Why aren’t you at your place? I miss you anyway! Meet me at the park nearly school, something to told! –Kez”

Gratefully I am, the school is not so far from the home (actually apartement that my dad buy for a year and just using by now) and everyday, I just take a walk to school. Anyway, that is demoicent my parents that they don’t have to give me a lot of money to take a cab. Ha.

“so, hey kez! What’s the world?”

“nope, I just want to tell you something”

“ready to hear that”

“I am positive to New York University! At Fashion Design anyway!!”

“Glad to hear that!! You made that!! You screwed the world up! I am so happy”

“so, what’s the new for you?”

“I am positive too in NYU, which was good. But I have to decide, right?”

“what is wrong with you? The entire people wants the position of being a student in there, and you were about to leave that shit.”

“because I was never sure about being in New York and you.”

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Sacrificed

Since one,
They sacrified on everything
On every things that we had
To see their laziness child happy
On every things that we want
To see their child proud that they're gonna always give what the child want

Since two,
They sacrificed on everything
The child had struggle for the years
They struggle for everything
The child has made them smile when she was a kid, then
The child has made them unsatisfying them when she's teen
They think that, God never listen instead of answer their pray, but
They still had to sacrificed

Since three,
One day the story told me that she had to realized what they've done
She read all of that conversation on a phone
They had been talk about her
She was cry
And that used to keep her at night
Thinking of what she's done
And that's make her be more spirit of being a good child, good girl, and good human
And someday she's gonna be made them smile like past

NN

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