Self-improvement

Hai
I'm sorry for not really serious being written a lot of posting, but indeed
I just want to share my thoughts, right?

Tapi kali ini insya Allah gue bakalan lebih serius drpd yg sebelumnya

Ew, that's too ambiguous.

So there is a lot of writer. Who writes anything that lives in their bloody brain. Which is they lived by the words, eh?

So belakangan ini gue suka bgt baca fanfiction. Ga ff aja, baca novel juga. Well intinya gue baca karya orang. Tapi tuh kalo baca ff suka canggung.

You know what distracted me?

There is two option if you are a writer.

One.
You write for your famous life.

"Pokonya gue bakalan lanjutin cerita nya kalo yg like ff ini udah blablabla k."

I mean, what's on your mind? Kenapa si pentingin "followers"? I mean, logic nya, if you are really a great writer, your fans will be stick to you till the end and you have no idea if you want them to like your jobs because they will. Gausah maksa kali. Kalo mereka suka, pasti lo bakalan di notice. Ngapain sih ribet2 mikirin "followers"? Your fan will be come to you, will be loving you, kok. But dengan cara nenaksa it feels like........it's not the thing.

But really, banyak org yg mau famous dengan passion nya. Tapi the famous thing will be coming to you IF YOU do it by yourself. Balik lagi, you don't have the famous thing. Nanti di kuburan ga ditanya berapa banyak followers mu.

Two.
You write for yourself.

Because,
Everything you do, its for yourself, it's really more valuable for yourself than doing nothing for the famous thing.

There is a lot of plenty fish at the sea, kan? Nah kalo lo nulis dengan niat yg tulus dan untuk diri lo sendiri, it's like you are rewarding yourself. That's the more valuable than anything. You will feel the free. You do nothing with everyone who's thinking about what you do. Because what you think about yourself is more important than what others think about you.

I know this is pretty lame and i was being such a good writer who has a lot of fans but I'm not I'm a weirdo. But this is my thoughts and i write it down in my bedroom and cuddling with my pillow and being starving.

So long,
-Mutia Novianti-

Read More

It's okay being flashback

ih. najis. judulnya menjijikan banget ya?

but i definitely do not care because i just want to share what my thoughts of it. sebenernya bukan being flashback or what. everything has a reason, right? sebenernya bukan reason juga.

terus apaan?

last night, gue baca FF baru, so it's going to be my favorite too actually. bagus kok ceritanya. eh tiba- tiba gue kepikiran,

"why there is a lot of musician which write a song that relates to their private life a.k.a ex-boy/girlfriend, about break-ups, or something?"

dan biasanya, banyak banget musisi perempuan yang lebih sering menulis lirik lagu yang ngomongin tentang heartbreak, gebetan baru dll.

but when it somes up to the man, it's pretty obvious.
gue berasa dikasih lagu. berasa kalo that song is really for me only, though.

shit, i'm being cheeky right now.

but seriously. write a lyric is more obvious than write a story i think. apalagi nulis lagu pake Bahasa Indonesia. that is so sick btw. karena Bahasa Indonesia itu SUSAH. APALAGI KALIMAT BAKU, KALIMAT EFEKTIF. KALIMAT SETARA.

kapan gue bisa Bahasa Indonesia?

balik lagi ke topik.

for honest, gue lebih suka penyanyi cowo dibandingkan cewe. this is really honest because it's strange to see a man who writes a lyrics like that. because i ain't even write a lyric like that. i ain't even write a lyric!

and this is what it goes through my mind. kan banyak banget tuh artis-artis yang single. yang katanya "i want to focus on my career" well, that is a bullshit kalo kata Katy Perry but she's right actually. you have to feel that.

terus, gue sempet mikir, "mereka buat lagu itu efek masa lalu atau emang jago buat lirik atau mau ngeshare pengalaman pahit aja?"

then, Everything has a reason. dan gak semua lirik lagu itu jijik menyedihkan.

but for me, i really love sad songs, actually.

bayangin dah. kalo beneran nulis lagu yang bener-bener stress and it really realtes to old life,

gue ngebayangin jadi mantannya. and when it comes up number 1 on billboard i just feel like

"WAIT. I STILL LOVE YOU, DARLING" haha gue tau gue menjijikan.

terus gue ngebayangin jadi si artis, "THANK YOU FOR BEING HELPING ME TO BE A STAR, THANK YOU, MY EX BOYFRIEND"

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA

but i find it cute when a boy in a huge band still being friends with his ex-girlfriend.

surely, i want that moment too. I AM TALKING TO YOU, MICHAEL CLIFFORD

because it's too hard for being friends with your ex even tho you'd really want it.

nah, it takes a really long time for me to doing that.

i talk to my friend like,

"hey there, i really miss you then i really miss him tho. he's so far away and i feel like he's being throwing me away since that day"

mampus. berujung galau.

and she justs answer.

"i miss mine too. but we can't push anything that we can't push, right? everything has a reason. maybe right now he justs missing you too. it's just about the condition."


nah. i miss you, already. all day.
nah. you would not realize even read this.

Cheers,
-Mutia Novianti-

Read More

My 75% Whole Escape Thing

hello!

since the last day (i guess?) i told you that i dont even know what i am going to write. then i got up the morning and i have this idea.

since when i feel like, "i dont even know what to write a story" or anything, because of there is a lot of test of being accept to a college, i feel like i have to write another one (and it should be completed, not just like the last time i wrote.) and i feel like, "i should write a new one!!"

then i realized,

i don't even have any inspiration right now.

you may talk to a greatest writer like, "have you ever lost your brightest star?" or "have you ever have no inspiration in life whether you have a lot of people that loves you in a whole time?"

i am not a writer, but having a feeling like that, is really sucks.

and the following question you may ask is, "so, how did you end up of being have no inspiration? did you meditation or somewhat?"

and you may even worst like,

"how'd you get the inspiration again?"

that is so sick, dude. and i think every writer just answer, "everybody has their own tradition when it comes up having no inspiration."

i have no paper story in 2015 i guess. Last year, i have so many stories to tell about. i have so many imagination in my mind and it comes up into a short story or if i wanted to, i could turning that into a fanfiction with a lot of parts in it. if i wanted to. 

but sadly, i have no inspiration. even if a lot of people surrounding me with a lot of loves in the air.

duh, so touched, so metaphor.

according to the title of this post, i'd like to share with you what is My 75% WHole Escape Thing that i've been through. (sorry, i've been such like a kid that really needs a therapist. but really, this is my therapy)

- I watched movie a lot. -

most of it, i watched drama, yea i know i'm such a girly but seriously i love action, horror, thriller and even comedy (yea, everybody's love that actually i guess) you may want to seek a little of my movie collection in my folder?

why in this country, i can't have a netflix account?

The Cartoon. no, i mean childhood. yea, whatever.

The Teenage. 

Everybody seems like, "ew, you're so drama."

duh, you didn't really know me, though.

and everytime i watched a lot of drama movies, the more i realized that

i am such as cool as ice.

seems couple of people knowing me like that.

Gapapa. i'm being introvert right now, am i?

- I listen a lot of music -

nah, i dont want to talk much about this.

you may click this link , huh?

- I read Fanfiction. -

actually, this is embarassing because whenever i read, i feel like, "i'm such a dork, by the way" haha and you have to know that i heard a qoute like,

"kamu baca satu buku hanya bisa membuatmu merangkai satu paragraf."

then, it makes me i have to read a lot of stories that everyone told in the web, right?

nah, that is fanfiction. but i read some novels too.

God, Thank you that My Parents told me i have to read a lot of books i love.

but fanfiction is different, really. yea it may seems a lot of dramas in it but seriously you'll love it. here's to the best fanfiction that i have read in Wattpad (ups. follow me then, @mutiaseze ^^)

Roommates // Main Character : Calum Hood

Motel 6 // Main Character : Niall Horan

It's You // Main Character : Toby McDonough

Remember To Forget // Main Character : Luke Hemmings

but i do read a lot but i give you what i love.

The more i watched a lot, the more i feel i have to feel a new one

The more i listened a lot, the more i feel to thinking a new one

The more i read a lot, the more i feel i have to write a new one

Cheers,

- Mutia Novianti -

Read More

A day with a friend

capek ah ngomong hello molo.
gapernah di hello-in balik soalnya.

lah. curhat mulu lo.

anyway, pagi ini (gatau pagi gatau kapan) jadi td malem gue disuruh baca wattpadnya si goceng because he writes another story to tell? terus gue ngechat sebentar dan berujung curhat jijik ini

nah. jijik bgt yak. 

okok.

so here's the thing. jadi abis selesai UN, band gue which is, Gado - Gado band Alhamdulillah ada plan baru, mau ikut lomba lagi. Alhamdulillah bgt deh pokoknya, kayanya tuh abis fokus UN (yakin mut?) Lomba band tuh kaya berhamburan gimana gitu #ahtaeapabgtsihlu

so here's the confession.

gue gak ikut lomba, seperti lomba di MAN 4 th lalu.

dih ngapa?

kurang-kurangin keponya.

ngga deh, gue beneran gak ikut lomba. ah gini ceritanya

jadi, karena banyak lomba, akhirnya kita semua nyusun jadwal dan Alhamdulillah jadwal tersusun rapih gitu. then pas liat jadwal,

deh, gue intensif

dan dengan segala persetujuan, gue leave bentar soalnya gue mundur gak ikut lomba, i am so exhausted at that time. ditambah, gak punya pacar.

you sucked, mut. gak nyambung bgt. anjir.

pokoknya, intinya gue gak lomba deh.

so. Gado Gado ikut lomba di dua event, di SMA Nasional Satu dan di SMAn 62 Jakarta. but sadly, gue gak ikut (dateng) saat lomba di SMA Nasional Satu karena gue lagi intensif.

if you read this. gue gak fokus intensif waktu mereka lagi lomba, plus saat itu lagi gak belajar biologi.

belajar kok milih-milih mut (?)

i expect nothing but seriously. yang lain sih tetep kasih tau kalo lomba di SMAn 62 itu tanggal 13, which is pas bgt gue lagi tes hari besoknya.

ah hari tenang.

and it comes up goceng ngechat gue malem2 dan nyuruh gue dateng saat lomba. but really, selama ini gue berubah jadi orang yang bukan morning person but i admit it, i'd go.

jeng jeng. gua bangun jam 8. yaudah langsung ketemu di SMAn 62 nya aja. ups, sorry, gue gak cerita apa yang terjadi waktu itu bcs it too memorial eaa

nih bbrp foto

4 foto pertama, selfie sebelum mereka panggung.

anyway, biasanya gue upload foto yang mereka lagi di panggung i mean waktu lagi action gitu

tapi si goceng gak ngirimin

kalo goceng ngirimin foto yg pas lg pada action, ga gue post lagi pokonya

(?)

bersama peserta lain

im sorry for being cute in this photo #LAH

dih. ngapa ada piala?

panitia nya gak keliatan #hanyabeberapa

The worst selfie that we ever take in this 2015

jadi, abis dari SMAn 62, bingung nih mau kemana kan.

oke gue cerita dikit aja yak karena gue gak ada fotonya. nnt kalo gue foto ada yang marah gara-gara diantara yang lain, gue yang sering banget ngapdet #baper 

jadi, tadinya tuh bingung kan mau kemana, eh si pacul (suwe) dia malah ngajakin makan pizza kayu bakar gt deh ga ngerti pokoknya dibogor. terus gue ogah kan. dan akhirnya, kita ke RAGUSA. hanya sekitar 20-30 menit aja disana dan langsung pulang dikarenakan di ragusa rame bgt.

jauh-jauh cuma makan es krim.

bhak.

akhirnya pada laper kan. devin udah sempet tidur. diperjalanan, kita juga cerita-cerita. yea, well that's life story i guess. akhirnya karena devin dan goceng belum makan dan devin teriak mau makan nasi, akhirnya kita makan seafood.

abis itu pulang. what a day.

nah, i dont know how to write

but seriously, ini sedih loh.

goceng di unsoed

pacul di telkom

gue, azzam, dan cika yang masih nunggu pengumuman

devin yang masih jadi anak SMA yang imut imut

ups, ternyata udah sejauh ini ya

berapa taun kita ngeband? dua? tiga? sepuluh?

lah, bodoamat.

because i enjoy every moment that Allah has given to us

we are enjoying even if we sad

we are enjoying even if kita yang selalu

 berharap juara satu tapi selalu 

dapet juara dua gara - gara 

ada senior yang juga ikut lomba

kita yang selalu optimis karena kita sama-sama berjuang

sama-sama jatuh, tapi tak lupa untuk bangkit 

untuk hari esok

kita yang makan mie instant dan seketika bego bareng-bareng

kita yang jarang jajan dikantin dan sering bawa bekel dari rumah

demi patungan uang studio dari uang jajan

kita yang manggung sana sini

kita yang biasanya manggung hanya ditonton oleh panitia

karena selalu tampil jadi opening act

kita yang nekat ke bogor demi manggung dua lagu

kita yang trip 3 hari yang bener-bener capek

kita yang pertama kali punya audience lebih dari 500 orang tapi

mereka anak TK. anak yang jelas gak ngerti "genre"

kita yang nekat manggung setiap H-1 ujian-ujian sekolah

hal itu gak terjadi saat H-1 un, tapi terjadi saat H-1 tes.. ahsudahlah

kita yang memanggil nama panggilan yang orang lain belum tentu tau

kita yang tadinya hanya teman ekskul

kita yang tadinya hanya lomba untuk sekolah

kita yang hingga lomba membawa nama Gado-Gado 

ah, jijik. drama. ewh.

the point is,

Sejauh apapun kita akan bertemu teman baru, band baru, hal baru apapun

inget, kita pernah jatuh bangun bareng.

dari lomba yang gak menang, yang lawannya "udah ah, elus dada aja"

inget, kita punya pengalaman bareng-bareng.

Azzam yang selalu cari air waktu latihan

Cika yang selalu cek mic karena kdg ga kedengeran waktu latihan

Gocenk yang selalu ngelawak gak lucu waktu latihan (tp kadang lucu kok ceng)

Devin yang selalu nganterin gue sampe depan rumah (oh cuma devin doang?)

Pacul yang selalu  berkeringat waktu latihan padahal studio ber-ac

the last ya?

gak kok. we're just through a time that we're going to be together one day

nanti kita bakalan ngeband bareng lagi kok,

pas reuni.

YHA.

the point is, i love you because i am a shy girl

because i am a girl yang "ah serius gua anak band? ah gamau ngeband"

yang akhirnya "duh kangen ngeband"

because i am a girl yang selalu denger lagu pop 

tbtb berubah jadi sering dengerin lagu-lagu band

because i am nothing today without you, guys.

Let Allah script our stories in future.

He knows us well more than ourselves.

Cheers,

this is a fucking treasure moment i have with you, guys.

- Mutia Novianti -

Read More

about to speak?

seriously, i don't even know what i am going to write.

the first thing that comes up to my mind is, "I pass high school"
wait, i (do really) want pass high school because there is a lot of condition that i need to explain. but when i am in the finish line of being a high school student, my mom told me this,

"coba nonton ****, di film itu kelihatannya SMA tuh indah banget kan, tapi ternyata, biasa aja. ga seindah kaya di film"

yea, she's really my reflection.

but seriously, gue baru nonton film itu ketika mau deket-deket UN kemarin. hahaha. time flies.

seriously, time flies really faaast sampe-sampe gue baru tau kalo dia sudah punya yang baru dan tidak bersama yang lama itu. #UPS #beda topik

anggep aja yang tadi tuh gak ada. hahaha. so here's the focuse one.

pernah gak, you have a lot of words at your mind but you're stuck when you're about to speak?

tbh, I'm the one of the banyaknya orang di dunia yang kaya gitu.

i never get the feeling when i am about to top of the mountain even if i know when i'm at the top of mountain.

yaudah, gue cerita aja. i don't know, maybe gue bakalan punya 3 cerita sekaligus yang bakalan gue ulas disini, ups. kebanyakan ya? gak kok, pendek2.

jadi, ada cowo. he has a blog and he is more "blue" than me. postingannya selalu menyedihkan. postingannya selalu berbau black and white. honestly i dont know him either, but you know what? he's more pathetic than me if you are see his blog. cowo itu sangat open-minded. dan setiap tulisan yang dia published, he always show off a side of his own. even if gue gak tau maksudnya dia apa, nulis yang ujung-ujungnya cerita ttg diri sendiri. nangis di media. curhat ke media, even if ada yang baca, it doesn't make any sense. #guegakngaca. i've watched his blog around 4-5 months. but he's really open-minded. guess what? he writes what i am afraid to write. he such an amazing guy. dia berani tulis apa yang dia mau tulis. he has that courage (and i am fucking not) in his soul.
then what? terakhir kali gue lihat blog-nya, ada yang berbeda.
bukan beda lagi, beneran "bukan dia yang gue tau selama ini"
tebak?
ya deh gue kasih tau.
he changed the blog. blog nya berwarna parah. berwarna dalam arti bukan yang blog2 rame gitu. dia gak pake black and white lagi. and he post a pict of him and he was really happy. then i guess,
he has a girlfriend. and you know what? tulisannya makin bagus.

i think, everybody needs that people.
nah, not everybody, maybe i am the one who really needs that people to come into my life, right now.


second,
ada cewe and honesly she's into a guy that never likes her. terus, ada deh cewe juga yang udah lama suka sama tuh cowo. saingan dong? nah si cewe ini gak menganggap saingan because she told me like,

ngapain berebutan cowo. there's a lot of plenty fish at the sea. and i'm too old enough buat berebutan cowo. 

sheeeeee's so wisely when she told me like that and i am 100% agreed with her. dan akhirnya, gada yang pacaran sama tuh cowo. but what? cewe yang udah lama suka ama tuh cowo menganggep kalo "wah, dia saingan gue", "gue harus di atas nya dia"

i tell you, i really hate that people. apaansih lo, cuma cowo doang ampe gamau ngalah. lu kira dia bakalan ngelamar, lu kira bakalan nikah? katanya mau sukses, tapi ngeliat ada cewe lain yang suka sama tuh cowo malah "gue harus di atas tuh cewe". duh, people these days.

untuk cerita yang kedua, tolong jangan dipraktikkan. karena itu really really bad behaviour. dan gue gak mau di dunia ini makin banyak orang yang spesies nya kaya gitu. dihhh. really annoys me the most.


so the last.
my friend call me and she justs ask,

what if you really want to write about this guy, but you certainly didn't because you have no courage?


#np Demi Lovato - Skyscraper
-Mutia Novianti-

Read More

Here I Am

Here I am
sitting in the couch with blanket
listening to the sad song i picked
eating some breakfast menu in this midnight
in front of this laptop
thinking of you

Here I am
remember when we met
i see you in crowd
with your little precious smile
then you caught my eye
you have my soul.

Here I am
seeing your face in front of me
while we were eating our food in the restaurant
looking deep into your eyes
while you were told a story to me
feeling little "God, I love this guy"
while you got a present for me.

Here I am
Laughing when you forced me
to eat something i don't recognize
always remember
picking a lot of emotions when we were chatting
hearing too deep your voice in our little fast phone call
and you were whispering my name.

Here I Am
i don't count, isn't it like, one year and a half?
watching you walking away for me
thinking you might be hate on me
and you never keep our pictures in your pocket
promise to you that
i would never looking for you in crowd.


s.z

Read More

“Hi, this is your reminder to remember that even if you have fifteen hours of homework in front of you… I don’t care. If your mom is asking you for help to water the flowers, go do it. If your dad is asking you to watch an action movie with him, watch it. If your friend is dealing with a break up, go call her and give her a hug this instant. If your brothers are jumping up and down in the trampoline outside, go outside and have fun with them. If your sister is baking some cupcakes down in the kitchen, help her mix the ingredients. If you want to finish that novel, read the first page of it right now and don’t stop. If you want to go and get a cup of tea, make yourself one. If your family wants to go to their favorite restaurant today, go out with them. Because hear me out. You can’t miss life just because of the demands of school. Your homework can always come later but life? Yeah, you only have one chance. Say this with me. Your homework assignment is NOT as important than living your life.”

Read More