Senin, 17 Agustus 2015

COMEBACK

Hi.



I feel fresh today. hehe i don't know
Since i claim my self as Black Soul because i just realize all of my playlists are...
black song. (read: brokenhearted-desperate song)
but just because i love that side, doesn't mean i don't love the cheerful ones. i do love it and it makes me happy and i also listen to the beat, but i prefer listen to the lyrics more.
I don't know what i gave this post with that title but right now i'm just feeling Comeback. so this post is literally just life post because....

  • I am deleting some old posting. because when i think about it, it was really ugh i don't know how to say but i just need some re-cycle or i just need something new in this blog, hehe.
  • I had new Playlist, and the name is "Desperate Song" and it consists of 30 Songs. it really made me feel better, i don't know please give me some help
  • I am officially under-graduated student. yay (but it means maybe i don't have any time to write again. but ofc, i will find a time)
  • I write another fiction on Wattpad. anyway it's my first fiction that going well. come find me on Wattpad at : @mutiaseze
  • I listen lyrics. lyrics. lyrics. but i never write one. #retirement
  • So My Band is in the retirement condition. i feel sad but this is life. we have our own dreams.
  • When things got darker, he came back.
  • Then i start write a lot. yay (this is the real comeback)
so that's the thing.
new post will be soon.

Cheers,
mutiasz


Jumat, 14 Agustus 2015

Soon.

Before you start to read this, let me presenting to you this screenshots.




Baper berujung Curhat. dat guys.



Anyway, gak tau harus mau nulis apa. because it feel like i have told you a lot about this 4 guys 1 girl in this blog and you may have to read it all again.
gak

or you may want to read this all again, and you just back to home and read this post ;

1 // Band
2 // Lomba yang lawannya expert semua
3 // Ngamen Elit
4 // Katanya Terakhir
5 // Eh Tapi kok ada lagi

dan
gak
gue gak bakal kasih tau makanan kesukaan mereka apa. gue ga bakal kasih tau nomor hp mereka juga.

so this whole friendship just begins with a greet. maybe this person would forgot but i didnt

"Mut, diajakin lomba sama kak bintang di istiqlal"

oh. dat guy. pertama kali yg gue pikirin, orang ini nyebelin, ngajak ngobrol pas gue lagi ngantri ambil wudhu di kamar mandi masjid. kan kalo diselak orang malah makin males guenya.

but i dont know why, gue malah bales, "oh ya? okeoke latihannya kapan" but i got away from him karena mau shoat berjamaah saat itu.

then another day, i found his twitter. ini orang ngeselin banget deh. GAK MAU FOLLOWBACK GUE. he said, kan waktu itu belom kenal mut. how eeq he is.

then. since Istiqlal tahun 2012. this band was formed. aih.

i'm so sorry i lost the photos. anyway, saat itu komuk sangat..... ah gak mau mendeskripsikan. 

i would never ever imagine that gue bakalan jadi anak band. the reason is,

gak suka lingkungannya

but now i'm used to it. the other's too. karena mereka sepertinya lebih berpengalaman juga. gue macem anak bawang banget saat itu.

then it comes up when the hard time. kita. ber enem. gak nurut sama perintah yang ngebuat kita gak betah. we're so outsiders at that time. latihan sampe malem. tiap pulang kdg suka di tanya, kenapa malem banget sih latihannya? but, whatever. it's so worth it at the end. gak cuma masalah pulang malem ato apa,

kalo mau berusaha, harus total. even if harus menyisihkan uang jajan buat nyewa studio untuk latihan 1 jam.

banyak banget.
banget.

banyak banget yang udah di laluin bareng-bareng. we're not that frienship. we're family. we might have fight at each other but that's it.

gak akan greget kalo punya sahabat yang gak pernah berantem satu sama lain

gue gak tau sih kita berenem pernah berantem apa enggak. lupa kali ya? ah sudah, berantem nya kan kemarin-kemarin. sekarang kan gak berantem lagi. udah gede.

and it comes up,

lomba.

yang dicurangin.
yang ternyata juaranya ternyata tuan rumah.
yang harusnya juara 1 tapi malah jadi juara 3 #sahitmoment #sakitmoment

and it just, WE TE EF, men..

lo latihan udah capek2, tapi malah dapet juara 3.

akhirnya kita semua cuma bisa berucap syukur aja.

then,

the most full of journey on 3 days. you know what, it justs like, apa ya
3 hari gak mikirin hal apapun. cuma miikirin.

band.
band.
band.

even if di hari terakhir muka gue pucat garagara keyboard gue layar nya tiba-tiba putih dan hampir rusak eh tau nya itu adalah hasil ulah gue sendiri.

how poor me at that time.

and we dont even care kalo besoknya UKK as Ujian kenaikan kelas. we are so cool yet so smart sampe2 setiap h-1 ujian pasti ada acara band //except UN, SBm, dan ujian selain dari sekolah menegah atas islam tercintah

anyway gue ga akan ceritain secara detail apa yg terjadi dalam 3 tahun terakhir because i wont go for detail.

but, akhirnya.
JENG JENG.

Life has teaches us. ga bisa ngeband lagi. masing-masing sadar, mimpi kita bukan di band, sepertinya. we still have our own derams that we have to chase.

ini yang agak menyedihkan.

dan dua dari kami, harus mengejar itu semua hingga menginjak tanah orang.

tai, drama banget.

udah ah.



Ternyata kalian dulunya... wkwkwk 

"Kalo gak menang gapapa ya?" - Pacul


gatau kenapa dari semua foto yang bareng-bareng, yang ini lucu


the first for the last

kok gue gendut banget yak-_-


See You Soon,
my Tukik.
gue capek nulis panjang-panjang.
ga bakalan cukup waktunya juga.
mending cerita ini kita simpen baik-baik.
semoga selalu ingat apa yang dulu kita perjuangin bareng-bareng.
semoga selalu ingat.
semoga.
semoga kita semua sukses di bidang kita masing-masing.
semoga.
kita harus sukses.
Aamiin Allahumma Aamiin.

eh anyway, masih ada 2 kwitansi c'blast di gue. desember kumpul yuk!!!

Tomat
Bangu Pemudi Pemuda
Cublak Cublak Suweng
Bendera
Kicir kicir
Ku Bahagia
Kamu
Cari Jodoh
Pintu Surga
Perdamaian

Salam.
sampa bertemu lagi! <3



Minggu, 09 Agustus 2015

i dont know, i'm too a tumblr girl

In retrospect, I don’t think you ever really liked me in the first place, you just liked the idea of what you could mold me to be. 
I could never have been your “Disney princess.”
I can’t sing or even dance for that matter, I’m not soft,
but I sure am fragile (whether I am willing to admit it or not.)
I’m not easy on the eyes, mind, or soul. 
I yell, I cry, but at least I feel, 
At least I feel alive. 
I will never be your TV Sitcom Girlfriend. 
I like black too much, and spoken poetry. 
Messy art, words, and hair. 
Tear stains and bite marks cover my auto-biography. 
You never did care for the me who cries when you don’t text her back.
Nor the me whose foot shakes incessantly,
You told her to stop.
You told her to be quiet. 
You brushed her an apology with you right hand, while your left was busy opening new wounds. 
I am so sorry, really, 
but she is I and I cannot play a token in your make-believe-happily-ever-after anymore.
— Ana Curtis 

Minggu, 12 Juli 2015

Self-improvement

Hai
I'm sorry for not really serious being written a lot of posting, but indeed
I just want to share my thoughts, right?
Tapi kali ini insya Allah gue bakalan lebih serius drpd yg sebelumnya
Ew, that's too ambiguous.
So there is a lot of writer. Who writes anything that lives in their bloody brain. Which is they lived by the words, eh?
So belakangan ini gue suka bgt baca fanfiction. Ga ff aja, baca novel juga. Well intinya gue baca karya orang. Tapi tuh kalo baca ff suka canggung.
You know what distracted me?
There is two option if you are a writer.
One.
You write for your famous life.
"Pokonya gue bakalan lanjutin cerita nya kalo yg like ff ini udah blablabla k."
I mean, what's on your mind? Kenapa si pentingin "followers"? I mean, logic nya, if you are really a great writer, your fans will be stick to you till the end and you have no idea if you want them to like your jobs because they will. Gausah maksa kali. Kalo mereka suka, pasti lo bakalan di notice. Ngapain sih ribet2 mikirin "followers"? Your fan will be come to you, will be loving you, kok. But dengan cara nenaksa it feels like........it's not the thing.
But really, banyak org yg mau famous dengan passion nya. Tapi the famous thing will be coming to you IF YOU do it by yourself. Balik lagi, you don't have the famous thing. Nanti di kuburan ga ditanya berapa banyak followers mu.
Two.
You write for yourself.
Because,
Everything you do, its for yourself, it's really more valuable for yourself than doing nothing for the famous thing.
There is a lot of plenty fish at the sea, kan? Nah kalo lo nulis dengan niat yg tulus dan untuk diri lo sendiri, it's like you are rewarding yourself. That's the more valuable than anything. You will feel the free. You do nothing with everyone who's thinking about what you do. Because what you think about yourself is more important than what others think about you.
I know this is pretty lame and i was being such a good writer who has a lot of fans but I'm not I'm a weirdo. But this is my thoughts and i write it down in my bedroom and cuddling with my pillow and being starving.
So long,
-Mutia Novianti-

Jumat, 19 Juni 2015

It's okay being flashback

ih. najis. judulnya menjijikan banget ya?

but i definitely do not care because i just want to share what my thoughts of it. sebenernya bukan being flashback or what. everything has a reason, right? sebenernya bukan reason juga.

terus apaan?

last night, gue baca FF baru, so it's going to be my favorite too actually. bagus kok ceritanya. eh tiba- tiba gue kepikiran,

"why there is a lot of musician which write a song that relates to their private life a.k.a ex-boy/girlfriend, about break-ups, or something?"

dan biasanya, banyak banget musisi perempuan yang lebih sering menulis lirik lagu yang ngomongin tentang heartbreak, gebetan baru dll.

but when it somes up to the man, it's pretty obvious.
gue berasa dikasih lagu. berasa kalo that song is really for me only, though.

shit, i'm being cheeky right now.

but seriously. write a lyric is more obvious than write a story i think. apalagi nulis lagu pake Bahasa Indonesia. that is so sick btw. karena Bahasa Indonesia itu SUSAH. APALAGI KALIMAT BAKU, KALIMAT EFEKTIF. KALIMAT SETARA.

kapan gue bisa Bahasa Indonesia?

balik lagi ke topik.

for honest, gue lebih suka penyanyi cowo dibandingkan cewe. this is really honest because it's strange to see a man who writes a lyrics like that. because i ain't even write a lyric like that. i ain't even write a lyric!

and this is what it goes through my mind. kan banyak banget tuh artis-artis yang single. yang katanya "i want to focus on my career" well, that is a bullshit kalo kata Katy Perry but she's right actually. you have to feel that.

terus, gue sempet mikir, "mereka buat lagu itu efek masa lalu atau emang jago buat lirik atau mau ngeshare pengalaman pahit aja?"

then, Everything has a reason. dan gak semua lirik lagu itu jijik menyedihkan.

but for me, i really love sad songs, actually.

bayangin dah. kalo beneran nulis lagu yang bener-bener stress and it really realtes to old life,

gue ngebayangin jadi mantannya. and when it comes up number 1 on billboard i just feel like

"WAIT. I STILL LOVE YOU, DARLING" haha gue tau gue menjijikan.

terus gue ngebayangin jadi si artis, "THANK YOU FOR BEING HELPING ME TO BE A STAR, THANK YOU, MY EX BOYFRIEND"

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA

but i find it cute when a boy in a huge band still being friends with his ex-girlfriend.

surely, i want that moment too. I AM TALKING TO YOU, MICHAEL CLIFFORD

because it's too hard for being friends with your ex even tho you'd really want it.

nah, it takes a really long time for me to doing that.

i talk to my friend like,

"hey there, i really miss you then i really miss him tho. he's so far away and i feel like he's being throwing me away since that day"

mampus. berujung galau.

and she justs answer.

"i miss mine too. but we can't push anything that we can't push, right? everything has a reason. maybe right now he justs missing you too. it's just about the condition."


nah. i miss you, already. all day.
nah. you would not realize even read this.

Cheers,
-Mutia Novianti-

Rabu, 17 Juni 2015

My 75% Whole Escape Thing

hello!

since the last day (i guess?) i told you that i dont even know what i am going to write. then i got up the morning and i have this idea.

since when i feel like, "i dont even know what to write a story" or anything, because of there is a lot of test of being accept to a college, i feel like i have to write another one (and it should be completed, not just like the last time i wrote.) and i feel like, "i should write a new one!!"

then i realized,

i don't even have any inspiration right now.

you may talk to a greatest writer like, "have you ever lost your brightest star?" or "have you ever have no inspiration in life whether you have a lot of people that loves you in a whole time?"

i am not a writer, but having a feeling like that, is really sucks.

and the following question you may ask is, "so, how did you end up of being have no inspiration? did you meditation or somewhat?"

and you may even worst like,

"how'd you get the inspiration again?"

that is so sick, dude. and i think every writer just answer, "everybody has their own tradition when it comes up having no inspiration."

i have no paper story in 2015 i guess. Last year, i have so many stories to tell about. i have so many imagination in my mind and it comes up into a short story or if i wanted to, i could turning that into a fanfiction with a lot of parts in it. if i wanted to

but sadly, i have no inspiration. even if a lot of people surrounding me with a lot of loves in the air.

duh, so touched, so metaphor.

according to the title of this post, i'd like to share with you what is My 75% WHole Escape Thing that i've been through. (sorry, i've been such like a kid that really needs a therapist. but really, this is my therapy)

- I watched movie a lot. -

most of it, i watched drama, yea i know i'm such a girly but seriously i love action, horror, thriller and even comedy (yea, everybody's love that actually i guess) you may want to seek a little of my movie collection in my folder?

why in this country, i can't have a netflix account?


The Cartoon. no, i mean childhood. yea, whatever.


The Teenage. 

Everybody seems like, "ew, you're so drama."
duh, you didn't really know me, though.
and everytime i watched a lot of drama movies, the more i realized that

i am such as cool as ice.

seems couple of people knowing me like that.
Gapapa. i'm being introvert right now, am i?

- I listen a lot of music -

nah, i dont want to talk much about this.

you may click this link , huh?

- I read Fanfiction. -

actually, this is embarassing because whenever i read, i feel like, "i'm such a dork, by the way" haha and you have to know that i heard a qoute like,

"kamu baca satu buku hanya bisa membuatmu merangkai satu paragraf."

then, it makes me i have to read a lot of stories that everyone told in the web, right?

nah, that is fanfiction. but i read some novels too.

God, Thank you that My Parents told me i have to read a lot of books i love.

but fanfiction is different, really. yea it may seems a lot of dramas in it but seriously you'll love it. here's to the best fanfiction that i have read in Wattpad (ups. follow me then, @mutiaseze ^^)





but i do read a lot but i give you what i love.


The more i watched a lot, the more i feel i have to feel a new one
The more i listened a lot, the more i feel to thinking a new one
The more i read a lot, the more i feel i have to write a new one

Cheers,

- Mutia Novianti -

A day with a friend

capek ah ngomong hello molo.
gapernah di hello-in balik soalnya.

lah. curhat mulu lo.

anyway, pagi ini (gatau pagi gatau kapan) jadi td malem gue disuruh baca wattpadnya si goceng because he writes another story to tell? terus gue ngechat sebentar dan berujung curhat jijik ini

nah. jijik bgt yak. 


okok.

so here's the thing. jadi abis selesai UN, band gue which is, Gado - Gado band Alhamdulillah ada plan baru, mau ikut lomba lagi. Alhamdulillah bgt deh pokoknya, kayanya tuh abis fokus UN (yakin mut?) Lomba band tuh kaya berhamburan gimana gitu #ahtaeapabgtsihlu

so here's the confession.

gue gak ikut lomba, seperti lomba di MAN 4 th lalu.

dih ngapa?

kurang-kurangin keponya.

ngga deh, gue beneran gak ikut lomba. ah gini ceritanya

jadi, karena banyak lomba, akhirnya kita semua nyusun jadwal dan Alhamdulillah jadwal tersusun rapih gitu. then pas liat jadwal,

deh, gue intensif

dan dengan segala persetujuan, gue leave bentar soalnya gue mundur gak ikut lomba, i am so exhausted at that time. ditambah, gak punya pacar.

you sucked, mut. gak nyambung bgt. anjir.

pokoknya, intinya gue gak lomba deh.

so. Gado Gado ikut lomba di dua event, di SMA Nasional Satu dan di SMAn 62 Jakarta. but sadly, gue gak ikut (dateng) saat lomba di SMA Nasional Satu karena gue lagi intensif.

if you read this. gue gak fokus intensif waktu mereka lagi lomba, plus saat itu lagi gak belajar biologi.

belajar kok milih-milih mut (?)

i expect nothing but seriously. yang lain sih tetep kasih tau kalo lomba di SMAn 62 itu tanggal 13, which is pas bgt gue lagi tes hari besoknya.

ah hari tenang.

and it comes up goceng ngechat gue malem2 dan nyuruh gue dateng saat lomba. but really, selama ini gue berubah jadi orang yang bukan morning person but i admit it, i'd go.

jeng jeng. gua bangun jam 8. yaudah langsung ketemu di SMAn 62 nya aja. ups, sorry, gue gak cerita apa yang terjadi waktu itu bcs it too memorial eaa

nih bbrp foto





4 foto pertama, selfie sebelum mereka panggung.

anyway, biasanya gue upload foto yang mereka lagi di panggung i mean waktu lagi action gitu
tapi si goceng gak ngirimin
kalo goceng ngirimin foto yg pas lg pada action, ga gue post lagi pokonya
(?)


bersama peserta lain
im sorry for being cute in this photo #LAH


dih. ngapa ada piala?


panitia nya gak keliatan #hanyabeberapa



The worst selfie that we ever take in this 2015




jadi, abis dari SMAn 62, bingung nih mau kemana kan.
oke gue cerita dikit aja yak karena gue gak ada fotonya. nnt kalo gue foto ada yang marah gara-gara diantara yang lain, gue yang sering banget ngapdet #baper 

jadi, tadinya tuh bingung kan mau kemana, eh si pacul (suwe) dia malah ngajakin makan pizza kayu bakar gt deh ga ngerti pokoknya dibogor. terus gue ogah kan. dan akhirnya, kita ke RAGUSA. hanya sekitar 20-30 menit aja disana dan langsung pulang dikarenakan di ragusa rame bgt.

jauh-jauh cuma makan es krim.
bhak.

akhirnya pada laper kan. devin udah sempet tidur. diperjalanan, kita juga cerita-cerita. yea, well that's life story i guess. akhirnya karena devin dan goceng belum makan dan devin teriak mau makan nasi, akhirnya kita makan seafood.

abis itu pulang. what a day.





nah, i dont know how to write
but seriously, ini sedih loh.
goceng di unsoed
pacul di telkom
gue, azzam, dan cika yang masih nunggu pengumuman
devin yang masih jadi anak SMA yang imut imut
ups, ternyata udah sejauh ini ya
berapa taun kita ngeband? dua? tiga? sepuluh?
lah, bodoamat.
because i enjoy every moment that Allah has given to us
we are enjoying even if we sad
we are enjoying even if kita yang selalu
 berharap juara satu tapi selalu 
dapet juara dua gara - gara 
ada senior yang juga ikut lomba
kita yang selalu optimis karena kita sama-sama berjuang
sama-sama jatuh, tapi tak lupa untuk bangkit 
untuk hari esok
kita yang makan mie instant dan seketika bego bareng-bareng
kita yang jarang jajan dikantin dan sering bawa bekel dari rumah
demi patungan uang studio dari uang jajan
kita yang manggung sana sini
kita yang biasanya manggung hanya ditonton oleh panitia
karena selalu tampil jadi opening act
kita yang nekat ke bogor demi manggung dua lagu
kita yang trip 3 hari yang bener-bener capek
kita yang pertama kali punya audience lebih dari 500 orang tapi
mereka anak TK. anak yang jelas gak ngerti "genre"
kita yang nekat manggung setiap H-1 ujian-ujian sekolah
hal itu gak terjadi saat H-1 un, tapi terjadi saat H-1 tes.. ahsudahlah
kita yang memanggil nama panggilan yang orang lain belum tentu tau
kita yang tadinya hanya teman ekskul
kita yang tadinya hanya lomba untuk sekolah
kita yang hingga lomba membawa nama Gado-Gado 
ah, jijik. drama. ewh.
the point is,
Sejauh apapun kita akan bertemu teman baru, band baru, hal baru apapun
inget, kita pernah jatuh bangun bareng.
dari lomba yang gak menang, yang lawannya "udah ah, elus dada aja"
inget, kita punya pengalaman bareng-bareng.
Azzam yang selalu cari air waktu latihan
Cika yang selalu cek mic karena kdg ga kedengeran waktu latihan
Gocenk yang selalu ngelawak gak lucu waktu latihan (tp kadang lucu kok ceng)
Devin yang selalu nganterin gue sampe depan rumah (oh cuma devin doang?)
Pacul yang selalu  berkeringat waktu latihan padahal studio ber-ac
the last ya?
gak kok. we're just through a time that we're going to be together one day
nanti kita bakalan ngeband bareng lagi kok,
pas reuni.
YHA.
the point is, i love you because i am a shy girl
because i am a girl yang "ah serius gua anak band? ah gamau ngeband"
yang akhirnya "duh kangen ngeband"
because i am a girl yang selalu denger lagu pop 
tbtb berubah jadi sering dengerin lagu-lagu band
because i am nothing today without you, guys.
Let Allah script our stories in future.
He knows us well more than ourselves.


Cheers,

this is a fucking treasure moment i have with you, guys.

- Mutia Novianti -