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For those who said, “she don’t have a heart”

For those who said, “she is a pain in the ass”

For those who said, “she never gets ‘a feel’ because she’s too naïve”

I’ll tell you now.

It’s been a great year and it’s been really a good day because I just have got a long weekend with a long assignments.

I don’t need to tell you the whole details, but I wish you could understand what I am going to say.

There’s this boy, who is really ordinary but I don’t think so. We met almost 10 months? I thought so,. He gets bored very easily. And he gets a lot of friends that he needs. Thank God for that. Because of it, I might see his smile everyday.

The thing is, I don’t get any feels. Once again, Thank God.

Maybe one of some of my friends thought that I have a feeling for him and I might be say, “Yes” because it is really comfortable whenever I am with him, it’s really funny when I talk to him, and all of he does it really make people feel at ease.

Or am I the only one who feels that way?

“you two are perfect, why can’t you believe that? Why are you always resisting it?”

“don’t even hurt a boy like that. He’s a jewel.”

“you don’t have any status like ‘boyfie-girlfie’. All you guys have to do is conffesing your own feelings.”

The “I Don’t get any feels”? yes. Even if he does that thing and he making me smile and also he once helping me to forget the past even if he didn’t do anything but it really affected on me much.

For me, there was no other. Because I never thought that he would do that.

I don’t know how to do. And I hate that I don’t hate him.

My very-knows-me-well friend said,

“you, two are perfect in your own way. But If I have to see you guys are together as boyfriend-girlfriend, I am very happy but you guys are very understand of what are the things that you guys have to face it with.  But if I have to see you guys are having your own relationship, it’s okay. You guys together are know what are you gonna do.”

No. it’s only him that knows what to do. I am not.

Or maybe I know what to do.

Or am I gonna hurt this boy again? No? yes?

oh maybe after all this time, 

I don't love him. I'm just passing the time.

fourtwnty - aku tenang